Setember 11............

Remembrance

   Its a beautiful 78 degree day here in New York City. The sky is clear a blue. The US Open is on....Love watching tennis. Something is disturbing though. Calls and texts keep coming in..."Where are you? Are you going to be home tomorrow? Are you OK? So many are asking...so many are remembering what happened a decade ago tomorrow. I live here. Will be here tomorrow and the day after and the one after that. In the days that followed that September morning many life decisions were made by me and countless others as we walked this city in tears and shock. We stayed. Many left. Both groups were/are still affected by the sight, smell, and deeply wounded psyche that caught us unaware that day. So many friends lost....so much....but all of us lost our innocence. True innocence of the world and our place in it.

I remember the amazing outpouring of sympathy, anger, love, and caring that came our way in the days after. How many traveled here and helped us. How we helped and cared for each other. The City of New York was never a shiner example of how special people are. In the years since much of that has faded and lots of criticism from the world has been leveled at this Country and City. It really annoys me when I hear or read how how many in that world say that we caused this to happen, that they hate America, but not Americans. Not really understandable since "We the people" are America. Not looking for a political debate here. Just stating my opinion. I am American. No apology.  Lots of reflection done in the last few days. My journey has made me a witness as well as a part of this event as well as the world events that this day started.

Am now used to the sight of soldiers and police in combat gear, with assault rifles and German Shepherds standing guard in the streets, subways and airports. Having cars and trucks stopped in the middle of Manhattan and searched. Drivers detained and interogated. Barricades all along Wall Street and in front of so many buildings are the norm. I have been stopped and questioned and searched upon entering buildings. Houses of Worship. Spent too much time in many airports and flown countless times since that day. It has never held me back. Been on long lines, at most  had a small tube of hand cream confiscated, searched, scanned, taken off for a special bag search, taken off my watch, hair clips, jacket,shoes, opened my computer, been asked questions to verify my information, and generally been made to feel bad before each flight. Have watched others and have myself watched each person as they board flights, buses and trains and wondered if they mean me harm. I am so different from who I was when I awoke that September morning 10 years ago. Not so innocent.


PS..... I never went to view the site, where they stood though have seen it countless times on TV, newspapers and film. Couldn't make myself take the Subway to the station that is still called "The World Trade Center".  I will go to the Memorial in time....I still cry and morn those who are no longer here. Know I  always will.

But mostly.....

I REMEMBER

The only journey is the one within............

The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.

So ....here I am in NYC with Summer just about over. Labor Day was this Monday, US Open is in Progress and the leaves are just starting to turn. Its a cooler, and seems to me gentler time.Lots of rain and wind....signifying change to me. Less pressure to spend every waking hour "doing" something.

There is a journey that I am on. Its my life and all that surrounds it. Awake or sleeping this is my being. Without artifice or even a mask to disguise reality. What happens does. Belief in the paths traveled and courage to take that extra step even when the path is obscured. There is no destination.....just the road and traveling down it.

Having shared lots of what the last year has been like with so many has helped me understand and even cherish both the good and not so good sections of my path. Many have written and asked how I am and what am I doing. Because of this I have chosen to continue documenting what is happening to me and those around me. My hope is that you all continue to "tune in" and enjoy all with me. Perhaps even commiserate when things are not easy or fun....or without some angst. My life up to this point has not been one of ease....many bumps, speed traps, mountains, rough waters, and in general challenges that I have faced at times very reluctantly and even at times fearfully. However./..here I am. All experiences have made me...well...me! This blog will not be less of a travelogue and more of my inner journeys  and how the world around influences and is influenced by my essence and view of this small Planet and my even smaller place in it. There is a great chance that you will see yourself and identify with the struggles and joy of living life in these days. As usual comments and your thoughts are wanted and appreciated.